Not Into Sex: How a History of Sexual Abuse Can Get in the Way of Sexual Intimacy
In spite of impacting many, childhood sexual abuse remains a highly sensitive subject that often goes undiscussed and untreated. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) describes childhood sexual abuse as a significant public health problem that affects millions of lives yearly. It is an issue that can have a long-term effect on a person’s perception of themselves, the world, and their life choices, as well as shift how they interact with others- in particular their interaction with sex.
Often when working with survivors of childhood sexual abuse, the topic of current struggles with sexual intimacy comes up. Many people report that they struggle with emotions of disgust, shame, and confusion regarding their sexual encounters, even when in a long-term committed relationship. Though many factors play a role on the impact that childhood sexual abuse has on intimacy in adulthood, some of the most crucial issues seem to be those regarding self-worth and difficulty establishing trust.
Many studies have been done on the sexual health outcomes of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, finding that many survivors reported engaging in higher-risk sexual behaviors. These behaviors included engaging in sex at an early age, having many sexual partners, having unprotected sex, engaging in sex with individuals they barely know, and using drugs and alcohol to excess during sexual interactions. Some survivors reported the opposite extreme, indicating that they avoided engaging in sex altogether.
Regardless of which extreme was reported, the common theme that both indicated was a lack of enjoyment in sex. It is not unusual for a survivor of childhood sexual abuse to report that they only engage in sex due to feelings of obligation, a belief that it is the only thing they have to offer, or the only way they know how to express or receive love.
So how does one start to heal their relationship with sex? Well, for one, it is crucial that steps be taken to resolve the childhood trauma and begin to recognize that the abuse which was suffered is in no way a reflection on one's identity. EMDR therapy can assist in challenging negative beliefs about self-worth, safety, or lack of control. It can also resolve the emotional and physical distress that is often triggered by sexual intimacy. Intimacy in relationships can also be improved through couples therapy, which can help to improve communication, trust, and understanding. Through healing the past and developing a strong sense of self-worth, a healthy sex life is possible for trauma survivors.
